You are in pseudo-love if:
you see your partner / boyfriend / husband as your knight in shining armor;
you see your partner / boyfriend / husband / girlfriend / wife / partner as your savior;
you see your partner in a way you want to see him/her and not as what s/he actually is;
you idealize your partner / boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other;
you only stay with your partner because s/he is serving your needs, wants;
you feel attached because of what s/he possesses or what s/he gives you;
you are only with a person because of what you can get from him/her;
you feel your partner is nothing without you;
you feel you are nothing without your partner;
you allow your partner or significant other to physically hurt and / or mentally/emotionally/psychologically/sexually/financially abuse you;
you physically hurt and/or mentally/ emotionally/psychologically/sexually/financially abuse and take advantage of your partner;
you stay in a relationship because you’re afraid to be alone;
you feel as if you’re nothing if you’re not in a relationship;
your identity, happiness, contentment are dependent on being in a relationship or on something or someone outside of you;
you stay with someone who you think will support the identity you want people to see and think about you;
you feel the constant need to fix, rescue, change, control your partner.


“There is that image of yourself, and the other person also has an image about himself. So these two images come into contact, and that is what we call relationship. Whether it is the most intimate relationship between a husband and wife…about this or that, the contact between the two images is what we call relationship. 

Please do follow this. That is all the relationship we know.”

J. Krishnamurti Collected Works, VOL XVI Bombay 1st Public Talk 13th February 1966


“A relationship is to make you aware, not happy.”

Eckhart Tolle



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